Jaded

I’m in a bad place right now. Just unhappy, angry, tearful. I could easily rip anyone’s head from their shoulders without much effort at all.

I have no idea why though, I mean I know of a few things that could have triggered this but there’s not one thing in particular that I can blame it all on. It is all about putting the blame somewhere, right? So anyway, I can’t blame any one thing or situation, I’m just seriously fucked off and sad.

I have been okay up to now though; went shopping at a new Brit shop in Zug where we bought pork bangers and ginger cake amongst other things – dinner of bangers and mash was fabulous! I had an awesome pedi Saturday afternoon, now my french-gelled-toes look great and on Sunday we went to the Knabenschiessen fair and had a really great time playing games, etc. Mr Twist even went on one of the rides, I wasn’t brave enough to attempt going on any.  Check out some photos of the day here. I’m still enjoying work, though  it has been busy, and except for a nasty situation that I’ve been dealing with – it seems to be handled for now, but you know how things linger, its going to take a while for everything to be ‘normal’ again.

So I’m hoping this sorts itself out, one way or the other. In the mean time I’ll find comfort in the Autumn rain.

A little bit of nothing

Your Love Is Red

When you love someone, your love is intense and dramatic. For you, love is passion. You enjoy seducing someone and being seduced. You like feeling romantically overwhelmed.You’re the type of person who loves whoever you want, and you’re often drawn toward forbidden love. You are also stubborn about getting the person you’re interested in to fall for you. You love chasing after what you want.

What Color Is Your Love?

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

What Swisstwist Means: S is for Serene

S is for SereneW is for WickedI is for Innocent S is for Savvy S is for Slippery T is for Tempting W is for Whimsical I is for Important S is for Shocking T is for Tender

What Does Your Name Mean?

Blogthings: We’re Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

You Are Careful

You like to live an orderly, organized life. You thrive with structure. You believe that change tends to bring problems, and you consider new changes cautiously.You’ve figured out systems that work for you in life, and you rely on those systems for stability. Some people may think you’re uptight, but your routine allows you to worry less and live more.

Are You Careful, Conscientious, or Carefree?

Blogthings: Free Quizzes for Everyone

Thursday Q&A

As decreed by the Sexatree of the Lets do quizes because they’re fun Club…. herewith TODAY’s QUIZ (okay, this was last Thursday’s Q&A that I’m back-dating cos I can).

Enjoy..

1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? Who was it to? Describe the event. About 18 and a half or just before my 19th birthday. It was to G, husband No.1. Hhmm.. been a long time since I thought of this event. He was kind and patient (besides being a lot older than me), he stopped and started when I wanted him to and held me after, kissing me lots. It was a good experience as far as firsts go, I was lucky.

2. What is the strangest place you’ve had sex? Oh dear, I’ve done it in many ‘different / unconventional’ places, though it may not count as strange… I’ll leave you guessing

3. Who would you consider “switching teams” for? erm… no-one. Well not anymore, kinda a been-there-done-that-had-the-orgasms  situation.

4. Do you prefer to give or receive? Both!! Though I sure am a joyful and eager giver!

5. One night stands- What’s the protocol? Stay the night or get the hell outta there? Get out, or kick him out whichever applies. Especially if you don’t want to see him again (In which case, make sure you go back to his or to a hotel)

6. Favourite body part/parts of the opposite sex? all of it, the whole package for me please.

7. Quickie or long and slow? oohhh.. both, all depends on the time of day / night and the mood.

8. Noisy or quiet? Apparently I’m noisy, but for me its more about how good it is, how wild or rough, you know what I mean

9. Ideal amount of sex per week? As often as possible

10. What’s your number one sexual turn off? Poor hygiene

11. Number one arousal trigger? Confidence and power – control me, command me and I’m all yours

12. What constitutes bad sex? Distractions, lack of interest, a guy who thinks he’s ‘all that’ but really he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

13. Celebrity you would love to shag right now? Ooi! None, no-one springs naked to mind… Well, maybe P!nk

14. Define sexy? Power, confidence, a naughty smile and dirty thoughts.

15. Remember the best sex you ever had. What made it special? I’m having the best sex now (not literally! I’m at work). I mean in my current relationship, the phase we’re in, its good. No, it’s freaking fantatstic!

Tick-Tag

I’ve been tagged by yummy-mummy ExMi

1. What time did you get up this morning?  6am, wondering where Mr Twist was since I usually have to kick him out of bed or coax him somehow.

2. How do you like your steak? Medium well, served with herb butter

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Ice Age 3 – loved it!.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Gossip Girl, Entorage

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I am exactly where I want to be, Zürich, Switzerland. Would love to have all my friends closer though…

6. What did you have for breakfast? My usual  glass of OJ

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian

8. What foods do you dislike? Most veg!

9. Favorite Place to Eat? at home – Mr Twist makes exactly what I like

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? I don’t drive, never had a license – don’t think they’d trust me on the road, lol

12. What are your favorite clothes? My VS dresses *sigh* and ALL my shoes!.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Russia, Sardinia, Paris, New York (planned for 2011) and many more places.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends on what’s in it.

15. Where would you want to retire? I dread the thought, couldn’t possibly say.

16. Favorite time of day? Cuddle time with Mr Twist just before going to sleep.

17. Where were you born? The fairest Cape.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Rugby

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Are they meant to?

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? Huh?

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? All of you

22. Bird watcher? Birds? Whatever for?

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning

24. Do you have any pets? Two. Cleo and M&M – my sweetie

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? No

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A vet

27. What is your best childhood memory? I can’t say – my mum will back me up on this, I have the worst memory of when I was little.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Cat

29. Are you married? Yep, 2^nd time round

30. Always wear your seat belt? Always.

31. Been in a car accident? I have, yes.

32. Any pet peeves? People who have no respect for personal space amongst others

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Cheese – all kinds of cheese.

34. Favorite Flower? White roses.

35. Favorite ice cream? Strawberry cheesecake from HaägenDazs

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Burger King and of course KFC when I can find it!

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? I’ve never taken it.

38. From whom did you get your last email? Fashion Friends – apparently they’re the only ones who care – could be that I keep giving them money though.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? So many to choose from! Gucci, Prada, LV.. sigh, if only

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Went to an expat meet-up, watched Mr Twist play cricket and met new people – it was a good day!

41. Happy with your job? Yes.

42. Broccoli? Yes please, with gratin sauce J

43. What was your favorite vacation? Tuscany and Sestri Levante last August

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Mr Twist

45. What are you listening to right now? Sound of my desk fan delivering cool air

46. What is your favorite color? Black

47. How many tattoos do you have? Two.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? Um, not sure.

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 11:51am.

50. Coffee Drinker? Sometimes

So I tag:

JHBPrincess

WhiteSockGirl

MsBehavn

BecauseIcan

Faith, hope, love

Don’t panic, this is not a religious post. But those three words say a lot, mean a lot and are what I believe will see me/us through the next phase.

Yes, us.. can you believe it. After all my agonising, through my pain and torment, my heartache and many many tears. WE are trying again. My regular readers will see a pattern, I know, I see it too. I so desperately want it to work, I so dearly love him. I don’t want to be without him. So with faith (trust), hope and love, we’re stepping into the future together.

I’ve seen this meme doing the rounds, so I grabbed it and answer in relation to my current situation and the future we hope to have…

Oh, before I even begin that.. THANK YOU! To my blog and twitter friends who have offered me support, shown me that I am not alone and have loved me even though they don’t know me. THANK YOU! Without you, I don’t think I would be able to write this now, I was at the brink, on the edge but I couldn’t fall, YOU wouldn’t let me fall. I love you all so much, THANK YOU.

I am: excited about moving forward

I have: hope that things will improve

I know: that he really does love me

I think: he’s just afraid, like me

I don’t think: it will be all roses, but I’m prepared to see it through if he is

I want: this feeling of relief and weightlessness to last

I have: chosen to make a new start for myself as well

I like: that I know which way my life is headed (for however long it may be)

I dislike: one person in particular, very much – a cruel, vindictive person.

I hate: that I can be filled with such contempt for someone, I never thought I would feel that way again

I dream: about a happy future, together

I fear: that my dreams will not come true and that we’re still stuck in this vicious cycle

I am annoyed: that somehow I’m not able to express just how much I feel and love but I hope he knows

I crave: lazy moments lying-in, naked bodies entangled, hot and sweaty, exhausted but energized

I usually: doubt myself more than I know I should and it can be a stumbling block for us

I search: for something I’ve always dreamed of and hope I now have

I hide: little gifts from him in hopes of surprising him

I wonder: if we’ll ever have a proper wedding, with all the trimmings

I know: that if we both want this and commit to it we can and will be very happy together

I just can’t help: all the mixed emotions I feel

I regret: not being strong enough to let go before

I love: my Mr. Twist, my life in Switzerland, my job, my Angel

I can’t live without: quiet moments, being held, my shoulder being stroked while watching tv

I try to: not obsess – about the good AND the bad

I enjoy: the thought of forever like this

I don’t care: as much about yesterday as I do about today

I always: sure I tell him I love him, even when he doesn’t answer back

I never want to: go through the emotional rollercoaster of the past year, I don’t believe I’d survive it again

I rely on: him

I believe: in him

I dance: when no-one is looking

I sing: when my heart is happy, lately I’ve been singing a lot

I argue: with myself and am trying not to argue with him as much anymore

I write: about how I feel and where we are because it helps put things into perspective

I win: well, at least, I want to win!

I lose: my heart when he smiles at me!

I wish: I could erase the hurt and hard times

I listen: more intently and pay more attention

I don’t understand: why we couldn’t always be like this, clearly we had many lessons to learn

I’m scared of: having too much hope and failing again

I forget: I don’t want to forget, but I will let go

I am happy: I am